Holding a grudge

Holding a grudge?

Penny HaslamBlog, Coaching & training, Your visibility

My cool and confident husband has a Grudge List. On it are people who have done him wrong in the past and he refers to the list quite regularly.

I, on the other hand, don’t hold grudges – I forgive and forget. At least, I like to think I do.

So, we’re driving along and one of his favourite grudges comes up. Being the good wife I am, I challenge him on this – about the value of holding quite so tightly onto something so negative. Could past grievances embitter him? Affect his karma? Cause him to be mistrustful of others?

As if to settle the ‘discussion’, the very next day I came across How to Hold a Grudge, by Sophie Hannah. According to Hannah, grudges serve to remind us of our moral compass, reinforce our standards for behaviour and help shore-up what we will, and will not, put up with. In short, holding a grudge is good for you – they help us become sure of ourselves. ​

And that can only be good for making us a little more confident.

So, I have turned over a new leaf and am quite enjoying compiling my list of grudges which, I’m happy to report, is much shorter than my Christmas card list.

Why I love a good grudge (and why they can be positive)